In life I've received a lot of second chances. More like fifth and sixth chances! God has been extremely kind and great to me. I've been in some awesome life changing situations in the music industry and lost all the momentum. From writing songs with the superstar Pink (Alicia Moore) and her sleeping on my couch to nearly signing to Columbia Records and Outkast's Stankonia imprint. I've been featured on songs with 2 time Grammy winner Speech of Arrested Development and traveled the world as Jahah with my band AFAR. I've had fans scream my name overseas and then come back home to the United States and no one even cares. The screams are gone and my experiences seem pointless. All the good times on the road are worthless if you don't have anyone to share them with. Those good times simply become nothing but a faded memory. When I try to share my experiences, some people mistake my sharing as me trying to brag or one up them. These people don't actually come out and say this but you can read their body language. It's written all over their face.
I've never made a ton of money pursuing my dreams as a musician/artist. If this was about the money I would have quit a long time ago. I've put way more time, money, and effort into this than I've ever gotten out of it! I've lost good friends and family over my drive to make music. Friends that I thought I'd always have are now obsolete. They still live but they no longer exist in my life. That sucks because I consider these particular friends to be family and I never wanted to lose a family member. Never! Those who know me well should hopefully understand that there is no malice in my heart. I'm just passionate about my art and sometimes my desire can come off as controlling as opposed to being hungry and driven. By nature I'm a competitor and I want to win.
With that being said, I'd like to encourage anyone who has a dream to keep fighting to achieve it. There are days when I honestly feel like giving up but then something positive comes along and re-ignites my fire. I try to tell myself that success is in the eye of the beholder. I may never reach the type of success Michael Jackson achieved (I wouldn't want to either. I still wanna be able to shop for myself), but I have been successful.
Every now and then the idea of success is put into perspective for me when a local Atlanta artist(s) approaches me and asks how I've done "all these things". It's almost as if the artist(s) is putting me on a pedestal and I'm looking back at them like, "Dude you and me are in the same boat". It's moments like these that make me realize I am successful at what I do. Regardless of how much money I've made or didn't make; I've accomplished a lot more than a lot of artist(s) with the same aspirations will ever accomplish.
I'm thankful for the opportunities I've been blessed with. I apologize to anyone who may have been hurt by my actions. However, I think you know my heart.
Music has kept me out of a lot of trouble and no matter how tough this business is..."I'm Doing It" and "I'm Doing It" because it's what I love to do. It's what I want to do. The dream is real!
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